Free Yourself

As a fad diet, wanna-be healthy person, I hear the word detoxify a ton! We often detoxify our bodies by drinking green smoothies or making those crazy teas. We try to sweat it out. We even stop drinking alcohol. I haven’t managed that one yet. I probably need to because of my belly size, but that’s a topic for another blog. We work really hard to fix the way we look on the outside, but have we worked on detoxifying the inside?

What do I mean? Well, some of us are in toxic situations or relationships. We have friendships that should have ended a long time ago because it’s damaging to our psyche. However, we cannot let go. Your friends pop up in your life, cause drama, then leave for a bit. That’s not healthy. It messes up your train of thought and your energy. I did a presentation a few years ago on energy vampires based on the book, “Energy Bus”. Although it was a presentation for others, I was also preaching to myself. 

I have a bad habit of getting wrapped up into things. I get easily attached. The bonus of my personality, however, is just as easily as I get attached, I can detach. But, there are some large gaps in time where I’m still super attached. When I meet people or friends, I only see the good things. I mentally block out the red flags because I enjoy the fun stuff. I enjoy the exchange of memes and the good morning texts. I enjoy the new activities we do together. But then, after weeks of the fun stuff, the red flags start blazing. 

I see that you’re on social media, but you haven’t responded to my text. I see how the mood and frequency of your texts change. I see that you aren’t as present as you used to be. But why? If you want to be a friend, why change?

With ladies, we see this happen so frequently. I’m in a group online where women are there to make friends. We plan outings and trips, then slowly but surely the number of people starts to decline. Why bother trying to hang out if you plan to disappear? In the words of Fantasia, “if you don’t want me, then don’t talk to me. Go ahead and free yourself.”

So, because of this, I keep my friendship circle small. I rarely invite people in. It hurts me when I feel that we are friends, but then you diss me. This week, I looked at my mood. My mood has been in a state of agitation lately and I think it’s because I need to detoxify my life. I analyzed some of my friendships and I decided that it’s time to let it go. Take my heart out of it. I’ll still be cordial and get work done, but I will focus my energy on things that serve me. Things that will improve my mood, my health, my mind, my soul, and my future. I cannot take your negative energy with me. 

As much as I love my people, I sometimes have to let them go. In the words of a bad breakup, “It’s not you, it’s me.” And, it really is.

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