I heard a song a few weeks ago that really spoke to me. The song is “Soulmate” by Lizzo. After listening to the lyrics, I realized something. We need to change our definition of soulmate.
According to the online dictionary, a soulmate is, “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” But why? Why do we need someone else? Why can’t we be complete by ourselves?
What if we are our own soulmate? Lizzo’s lyrics goes as follows:
“Cause I’m my own soulmate (Yeah, yeah)
I know how to love me (Love me)
I know that I’m always gonna hold me down
Yeah, I’m my own soulmate (Yeah, yeah)
No, I’m never lonely (Lonely)
I know I’m a queen but I don’t need no crown
Look up in the mirror like damn she the one”
I agree with Lizzo. I think I’m my own soulmate. I figured this out a few years before this song came out. A few years ago, I was so bombarded with life: A husband, children, grad school, and work. But, I wasn’t happy; I was losing my mind.
Then, I did something that changed the course of my life. I found myself. I decided to take myself out on a date. I left everyone. I didn’t call any of my friends. I didn’t have any romantic partners. It was just me.
I had to decide what I wanted for myself. This alone time gave me the space to learn myself and love myself.
I rented a hotel room. I went to a book signing. I ate chinese food in bed. I sat and figured out what goals I wanted to accomplish. This was the best thing I could have ever thought of.
I learned a few lessons:
- Love who you want. This doesn’t only apply to sexual relationships, but it could. Build relationships with friends, lovers, etc.
- Forgive yourself. Every situation teaches you something. Don’t regret your choices.
- Love yourself. Despite anything you’ve done, love yourself and your decisions. You’re the one who will be with you for the rest of your life. You shouldn’t be the one hating yourself.
- Go solo. Sometimes you don’t have friends who want to attend certain events with you. Who cares? Go. Enjoy yourself.
- Set goals! Reach your goals. Live the life that you want.
You only have one life to live. Love yourself and enjoy!