My birthday is kind of a big deal to me. Let me explain why…
Growing up, as you know from most of my other posts, life was stressful. I grew up in a single parent household. That means finances were tight and my mom was not about to “waste” money on frivolous things. We never had birthday parties growing up. She would simply come home with a small cake. She and the four of us would gather around, sing happy birthday, then eat it. No balloons, no friends, no party, etc. However, we appreciated it. It was all we had. We were more concerned about what we would eat daily, school supplies, and paying all of our monthly bills. From an early age, we knew the essentials.
Fast forward to my early twenties, I had the most horrific birthday of my life. I was a younger person, living my best life. Trying to figure certain things out. I was giving my then “boyfriend” a ride to the dentist in Charleston. We turned towards James Island and stopped at a stop light. All of a sudden, an SUV rammed into the back of my car, nearly pushing my car into the intersection. Thankfully, we stopped rolling.
I jumped out of the car to go and check the damage. My trunk was pushed all the way into my backseat. The young lady and her male friend jumped out of their car. She came up to me, clearly upset, and said the most absurd thing you can imagine. “I’m so upset. Is it possible for you to run into the store and get me a cigarette to help me calm down?”
I nearly knocked her out on the spot. Thankfully, clearer heads prevailed. I just glared at her until she walked away. We called the police and took care of all the formalities. But that’s not where the story ends.
Later that day, my birthday, I suddenly stopped feeling so well. I got up out of bed, I needed a nap after all the action, and I was dripping all over. I was not sure what was going on. So, my boyfriend took me to the hospital. Y’all!! I had a freaking miscarriage. I was only a few weeks and barely knew anything. I was so heartbroken. I was devastated. On my birthday! The only positive, I was surrounded by people I loved.
Although tragic, now, I choose to look at the brighter side. I look at it as the lord allowing me more time in life to get myself together before having children. We received a large settlement from the situation. It doesn’t fix the hole left from my loss, but at least I was able to use the money to secure a home and car after graduation.
A year after that situation, I wrote a letter to my lost little one. I promised her (we found out later that it would have been a girl) that I would live my life to the fullest. I would celebrate myself. I would put forth the effort to live the life I want to live. And I am proud to do just that. I have a bachelor’s degree and two master’s degrees and am an assistant principal. Each year for my birthday, I take a trip or do something unique. I’ve been to Aruba, Spain, United Kingdom, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Las Vegas, Miami, and countless other cities/states in the US. I’ve ridden ATVs, paddle boarded, flown in planes and helicopters, and tubed down rivers. I am proud of the person I’ve become.
Since the incident, I’ve been blessed with two beautiful children. Previously, I was not sure if the accident would have impeded that, but thankfully it did not. I’m grateful for God giving me a second chance. A second chance at creating the life I wanted to have and a second chance at having children. I never take anything for granted. Each morning, I tell God thank you because I truly am grateful. So, if you ever wonder why I laugh and smile all the time, just know that I’ve been through so many things and survived. And for that, I’m grateful in every situation.
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