I am currently thirty five and I feel that I am in a much better place than I was in my twenties. The biggest reason is because I have officially given up. Not given up on life, but given up on trying to live up to the expectations of others. I choose to live my life the way I want to. I choose to give myself the luxuries I was never afforded as a person who grew up in poverty. I didn’t realize I deserved this until I entered my thirties. At first, some of my peers made fun of my experiences. Now, that they see the joy I have in my life, they want to be a part of it. Well, I decided to let all of you in on my secrets!
When I began teaching, I could barely afford my apartment. It was awful. I lived off of hotdogs and breakfast as dinner. So, I decided to go to grad school to earn a masters. The hope was to increase my salary. I did get a higher salary, but I also gained more student loan debt. I also traded in my car every few years. It created a ton of negative equity in each car I bought. But something happened. A few years ago, I had to file bankruptcy. It only cleared the debt relating to my business, but I still had to pay off my own personal debt. After hitting thirty, I noticed I was much closer to retirement (in EDU you can retire after 28 years, I’m in year 13). I became a little nervous and uncomfortable. So, I made a conscious effort to begin paying down debt. I followed the Dave Ramsey method. I’ve begun living off of a percentage of my income. I sent a percentage to savings each month. I pay down my credit cards little by little. So far, I have paid off two in the last year. Now, I’m also looking into stocks and rental investment properties to help me move into retirement more smoothly.
- Hair Stylist
I have locs, so I haven’t needed a hair stylist in years. However, since turning thirty, I have begun to need certain services. I started seeing greys! So, I periodically visit my hair stylist to get my hair dyed. I do not recommend doing this at home, by yourself. Allow professionals to handle chemicals.
I had a ton of acne growing up and my skin is sensitive. If I pick at a bump, it turns black. Now, since visiting my esthetician and getting facials, my skin glows. Peers from back in the day asked if I bleached my skin. I try to get facials every month or so. At home, I use a facial scrub twice a week to decrease new acne. I also use tea tree oil to moisturize my skin. I also use my exfoliator on my entire body once per week. It makes my body feel super soft.
- Get Checked
A few months ago, I had a health scare. I hadn’t been to the doctor in years. The only reason I went was because I had a UTI. After getting checked, I had early warning signs of cancer. I am so glad they caught that. I had to have minor surgery to get it removed. The scary part is that if I hadn’t had an issue, I probably would not have caught it soon enough. Don’t take your health lightly. Diabetes and high blood pressure plague our community. Get checked. For everything!
- Wax/ Vajacial
The older I get, the more hair I seem to have. After a while, I was tired of shaving. The hair grows back more coarse and more often. So, I decided it was time to make a change. Waxing was the best thing I could have ever done. I only have to go once every 6 weeks. The hair stays gone longer and grows in silkier. The vajacial helps your skin stay smooth and makes the color more even. It’s beautiful!
I began having headaches when I turned thirty. I thought it was high blood pressure or something. Then, one day I began typing my symptoms into Google. I made an appointment to get my eyes checked. Yup, I couldn’t see. I got my first pair of glasses and my whole world changed. I could see shapes and colors I couldn’t see before. I have astigmatism. The world isn’t supposed to jump…lol
- Social Media
Just like Marie Kondo tells you to remove things that do not bring you joy, you need to remove people or pages on your social media that doesn’t bring you joy. If you’re not vibing with someone or something is posted that offends you, delete it. Remove it from your life. That disconnect helps you clear out the negative energy.
Similarly to social media, you need to review your friend circle to see if anyone needs to be removed. Everyone in your circle is not rooting for you. If the conversation gets dry when you’re telling them something you’ve achieved, let them go. Also, your friends should be motivating you to grow. If they are doing the same things they were doing years ago, they’re stagnant. Get new friends.
This year, I put a lot of strain on my body from working out. It got so bad that I was limping. Epsom salt baths were not doing it for me anymore. I began researching the best masseuses in the city. I found one in University and it has been the best thing. I get a 2 hour massage once a month. It has helped me relax and deal with my stress. Best investment I’ve made in a long time.
Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, travel is paramount to my survival. My first international trip was to the UK in college. The bug bit me and I haven’t been able to shake it since. Travel gives me something to look forward to. I try to take mini trips once per month, like a road trip or weekend getaway. Then, like twice a year, I try to take big trips. International. Festivals. Either alone or with friends.
As a little girl, I watched a ton of movies and read a ton of magazines. I always wanted to dress like Robin Givens on Boomerang. So, when I became a professional, I began to find clothes to complete that look. I still follow fashion blogs and social media accounts for inspiration. What I have found is you feel better when you love how you look. If you don’t like how you look in your clothes, exercise. I work out at least 3 days per week. This keeps my self-esteem high!
Find a home that feels good to you. Don’t live above your means. Make your home feel good to you. Decorate for your personal style. I prefer a home that feels lived in. I use warm colors that hide spills. I have two kids and pets! If you prefer fancy, though, go with it. I also chose to buy a home that costs way less than I can afford because I want to use my money to help me feel good. I’m barely home during the week, so I didn’t want a home that took all my money out of my pocket.
- Workshops/ Conferences
Always look for ways to improve yourself. Whether it’s work related or personal, do something that helps you grow. You’ll feel better. Plus, you’ll see the world through a new lens. You may also develop new skills that could profit you in the future.
Spend time with them. You never know when they will no longer be here with you. You begin to realize that in your 30s.
Whether it’s outdoors or indoors, find something you can enjoy. Outdoors, I enjoy my paddleboard and bike. Inside, you can play with something that makes you warm 🙂 Don’t feel ashamed to enjoy yourself, whether it’s with someone or alone.
What’s something you learned after 30? Like, Comment, Share 🙂